I Hold Those I Love Above My Heart Forever
by Stormydee
Summary: Catherine wants to keep those she loves near her. Sara shows her the ink she branded into her skin and decides to get her own; to remember. Some mentions not appropriate for kids but nothing major and NO Femmeslash. summary is bad please rnr


New Story, random one. Not betad all mistakes are mine.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, all belong to creators

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Catherine shifted uncomfortably in her chair. The waiting was nerve wracking. She was sure of her decision but the anticipation made it hard. She liked to know what things would be like, she had no idea what this would be like; she also knew Lindsay would be waiting with a million questions.

Looking down she studied the design again, it was perfect; she had known the first time Sara had shown it to her. She smiled at the thought, it had been so random. Catherine had been looking at a family picture in the locker room and about to stash it; it was going to be a hard night. The fourth anniversary of Sam's death had brought memories to the surface and she had wanted a little reminder of her family with her. Sara had walked in just as she was tucking the little picture into her bra; that way she could feel it all the time.

Sara had remarked that some things were hard, she had agreed explaining why she wanted the photo with her. The brunette had explained why she had gotten her tattoo and what it meant to her. For some reason it seemed perfect; she just hadn't known what she wanted to get. Sara had asked her what she wanted it to mean and told her she would do up a couple of designs the next week when Catherine explained what she felt.

Now she was here, Sara had recommended an artist and she had made an appointment; she knew she wanted it. In a way it would be her closure, not only because they would always be with her but it was a way to remember Eddie; the good time with her husband. She had eventually told Sara where she wanted the tattoo, near her heart; Sara had smiled and reworked the design. It was so perfect, it was what she wanted; she was afraid of the pain.

As a grown woman she tried to scold herself for her nerves; she was sure about this. She just didn't know what the pain would be like, generally she thought she had a fairly high pain tolerance but she didn't want to seem like a wimp. Then she wasn't sure who to ask to come with her, not her mother and if she brought Lindsay the teen would want one. It was Sara's night off and her friend had been working non stop and would likely be skyping with her husband; it wouldn't be fair to interrupt. A glance at the clock told her that her appointment was in five minutes; she had barely been waiting three. Her mind was working over time; sometimes she hated being so trained to analyze everything. The bell jingled and Catherine turned, she was next; she smiled. Sara walked in and dropped into the seat beside her.

" Hey" Catherine mumbled.

" Hey yourself, how you feeling?" Sara gently removed the design from her hands, smoothing the creases. " Good thing I gave Lisa a copy of this earlier; this one would be to crinkled."

" I'm a little nervous, it is going to hurt a lot; I already know it. I'm going to look like such a wimp." Catherine laughed, she could feel her cheeks heating up.

" Its okay. I know its freaky. I only got the one and I never would have gone if a good friend of mine hadn't gone with me. Its meaningful though." Sara reassured her.

" Thanks for coming; I was mildly freaking out. I am so glad I wont be able to see what she is doing." Catherine grinned, it was easier just to have someone with her.

" I'll keep you informed. You've been there for me plenty; I know you were there in the hospital after I woke up from the desert. You cant expect me to know and not come; you know me better." Sara pushed her shoulder.

Catherine opened her mouth to respond but the curtain moved and a girl was coming out smiling a bit and wincing; a boy followed closely after her. She squirmed a little and Sara laughed at her. It was another ten minutes before the tattooist came out.

Bleach blonde hair and tiny the girl grinned at them; giving Sara a warm hug. " Suppose she didn't tell you how she knows me? You can come on back."

" No she didn't." Catherine raised an eyebrow at her colleague as they followed the woman into the back. She surveyed the room while the woman prepped some things; it all seemed to be sterile.

" You can lay back and adjust your clothes. Lisa told her as she brought a stool over and a small tray attached to the side of the table.

Catherine nodded and pulled her shirt off, and hesitated. When she had danced she had no real care about modesty but she had been able to separated it from life. Now she did care, and Sara was her friend, there was so much skin she was comfortable with showing. A towel was offered and she smiled, and sat on the table before leaning back. Cautiously she positioned the towel, hoping it was high enough not to interfere with the inking.

" Here Catherine, give me your hand." Lisa used Catherine's hand to lift the towel and her breast so the skin was taunt. " Sara tell you about her tattoo?"

" Yes." Catherine tilted her head, Sara was sitting on the table near her hip and Lisa had dropped onto the stool.

" All of it? I'm just going to clean your skin and then I'll start." Lisa explained, Catherine nodded; redirecting her eyes to Sara.

The disinfectants solution was a little cold and she felt a little nervous. " I guess not."

"Aha of course not. We were best friends in high school; both foster kids. That's how we first bonded, I was obsessed with getting inked but was to scared; Sara wasn't. I watched her get hers done, made me decide to go into it and then get my own. I was creepy watching and she just let it happen. I'm going to start, you will feel it; if you want a hand that's not breakable Sara is pretty tough."

Catherine nodded and glanced at the brunette. Sara smiled and took her free hand, she had a good view of what Lisa was doing. A light squeeze warned her and a second later her hand clenched on Sara's; it hurt. She kept her hand tight around Sara's, trying to stay still and keep relaxed; her body did not agree.

" Cath try and relax, you can feel where she is working?" Sara asked her in a calm voice. Catherine shook her head, it felt like her chest was exploding; she wasn't going to talk as her jaw was clenched. " Its the flower, are you going to be able to hold up; this is going to take a couple hours"

She nodded her head, clenching Sara's hand. Truthfully she wasn't sure she would be able to hold up, but she was going to try; and she would not cry. Time ticked by slowly, Catherine stayed still, every now and then the needle struck a particularly sensitive spot and she tensed up again. Her arm was cramping up but she couldn't move it.

Suddenly Lisa sat up and turned off the needle. " Catherine I need you to lay on your side and put this arm up, I will finish it like that."

The new position was uncomfortable and she wasn't sure she would be able to stay still; it was harder to hold the towel to. Sara's hands on her sides surprised her, the brunette lifted and twisted her then pushed her hip in underneath to support her. Taking hold of the hand above her head she bent it back to rest under her ear then took hold of the other one and used her free hand to hold the towel.

With Sara supporting her she was actually comfortable, as long as she didn't think about Sara's hand. The woman didn't seem to consider it big deal and the towel separated her skin but the feeling was something that dated back to her dancing; look but don't touch. She really didn't understand it, especially when it was just Sara.

The needle hitting her again distracted her from her thoughts and she clenched Sara's hand, amazed that it didn't seem to bother the brunette. The next hour was quiet other than the occasional repositioning of her arm or the towel and Sara telling Lisa where to extend some of the design. Before Sara had offered to design the tattoo for her she had no idea that Sara was artistic; but then she knew there were things Sara didn't know about her.

Finally Lisa put the needle down and told her it was done. Sara helped her sit up and directed her to a mirror. Standing in front of Sara she turned a bit to look at it, letting Sara hold the towel up. The flower under her breast was beautifully curved to fit its spot and the vine reaching over to the word survive in Japanese script and then dipped down wrapping around the poem. Tiny stars were tucked into the curves of the vine dipping down to a point with more stars that became bigger. A few big stars marked her ribs with little ones dropped between them with the last just above the top of her jeans.

"Its perfect." Catherine whispered, her fingers glancing over the inflamed area. It hurt like crazy but it was so perfect, along some of the curves of the vines were the names of her family in delicate script; it was her new memory. It was permanent, it was hers; even in the hardest and loneliest times it would be with her.

"It looks good Cath, what you wanted?" Sara handed her her shirt.

"Yes, promise not to tell the guys?" Catherine held it as Lisa covered it with a bandage; in a few hours she would be able to look at it again. Pulling her shirt on she tucked her bra in her bag and then paid for the art. Walking out with Sara.

"Your secret, give me your keys. I know your sore and you are not driving. I'll take you home and call a cab." Sara held out her hand and she dropped the keys into it; a smile playing at her lips. She was thankful for good friends.

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